Loving A Christian Battling Same-Sex Attraction

"As far as our friendship goes, this doesn't change anything. You're not my 'friend with same-sex attraction,' you're my friend, and I'm going to walk with you through this."

As long as division declares victory between the Church and society...

As long as progressive narratives poison the integrity of biblical doctrine...

As long as suicide plagues our fellow image bearers...

Then even longer so must this discussion continue in efforts to bring healing, provide understanding, and pursue unity; never with the intent to marginalize and never at the expense of biblical truth.

A Christian friend of mine disclosed that he's battled homosexual desires for some time now. He told me this in confidence...and in hesitancy. Thoughts immediately began to swirl around in my head:

Do I ask when these feelings started?

Do I remind him that scripture speaks against homosexuality?

Do I tell him to join an accountability group for these things?

While those questions certainly merit a conversation, the most important move I could make in that moment was to affirm our friendship. I told him:

"As far as our friendship goes, this doesn't change anything. You're not my 'friend with same-sex attraction,' you're my friend, and I'm going to walk with you through this."

Disclosing homosexual feelings is very scary for anyone in that position. So much greater is this fear when they've grown up in the Church. The fear of being sidelined from a community that you're well invested in, and who should be your rock in this time, is terrifying.

To be clear, I firmly believe that the Bible, the infallible Word of God, teaches that His intent for holy matrimony can only exist between a man and a woman. This blog is not intended to undermine this truth but rather to advance a conversation foundational to restoration.

I've had numerous friends who are gay. I've lived with them, laughed, cried, and walked with them in life. I've heard their stories. Regardless of their position on the issue, my position remained the same: They are as broken as anyone and as equally deserving of love– and equally in need of restoration.

But the manifestation of this love makes all the difference.

In the name of love, the world will champion the homosexual lifestyle. While as Christians, in the name of love, we champion the name of Jesus in hopes that the world finds restoration from their brokenness– any brokenness.

Liberal Christianity (a phrase I wish didn't exist) suggests that homosexuality isn't a sign of brokenness, while ignoring biblical text that annotates the contrary. But who is man to set this standard? The Word of God has spoken and the Word of God is final.

Affirming sinful behavior is the antithesis of love.

Don't compromise. Validate their fear and pursue healing.

Acknowledge that what they're going through is comprehensively real, scary, and downright sucks.

Validating their fear is imperative because whether you believe it nor not, they are terrified, and the moment you minimize their fear is the moment you effectively abandoned the very person who reached out to you for help.

Remind them that brokenness does not diminish their identity in Christ. Acknowledge that this is another way for the enemy to attack, and thus another way for Father God to glorify Himself in their deliverance.

Love them as Christ loved humanity, recognize their pain and walk with them through the valley.

For the gospel,



Hi, my name is John and I love coffee. As I write this I’m sitting in a local roastery sipping a “mudslide” espresso with cream and two and a half sugars. There are few things in life that I feel merit precise orchestration with no room for error, coffee is one of them. My life belongs to Jesus. I am his son and He is my King. His work in my life is reason enough for my faith to be made complete. He lived to die for me so that I may be credited righteous thus I will live for Him. I believe one area that has been greatly ignored by Christians is culture and politics. We must be active in representing our faith in these communities, but not in a relativistic or compromising way. Full bio

to the broken while maintaing the truths of our Creator.

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