I Don't Have To Test Drive The Car

Updated: Dec 5, 2018

Based on your wedding vows, marriage lasts your whole life. Based on biology, sex does not.

"Wait - bro, you're telling me you wanna wait till you marry her to have sex? What if she doesn't fulfill your desires? You don't buy a car without test driving it first!"

I've tangoed in this dialogue many times. Each time it's equal parts simple and yet exhausting. It's simple to unravel the grievous logical fallacies used against me, but emotionally exhausting to see how much society has undermined the importance of sexual purity.

There are so many things wrong with this analogy.

First, it's entirely devaluing towards the girl because it identifies her as something that is only worthy of being cherished if she "performs well."

Second, sex is only one part of marriage. There are SO many other aspects to marriage that should be prioritized over sex. You don't test drive a car for the stereo, right? No. At least you shouldn't. There are other essentials that must be considered when spending tens of thousands of dollars on a car besides how the stereo sounds.

If you fall in love with the stereo but neglect to consider all aspects of the car then you may realize, after you've bought it, that there are other things you don't like about it. Then eventually you may not want to drive the car...and if you don't drive the car, then I imagine you won't be listening to that beloved stereo much.

"What if she isn't good?"

So? Given my decades of non-experience, I probably won't be the best first. So it's guaranteed that she'll be way better than anything I've ever had!

My question, what if you find out before marriage that she is good in bed but you fail to prioritize other essentials that reveal your compatibility?

See, the problem with the "test drive the car" mentality is the same problem that launches marriages into divorce. The problem is that they rush in and prioritize something that should be spared instead of focusing on the true aspects of marital compatibility.

Based on your wedding vows, marriage lasts your whole life.

Based on biology, sex does not.

You've GOT to have different foundations for your marriage.

Though I haven't been perfect in life, I have not and will not have sex until I'm married. Why?

Because my God demands it.

I demand it of myself.


My wife deserves it.

My wife is not a sex machine. She's my wife, my best friend, my partner, the mother of our children, the grandmother to our grandchildren, the co-leader of our home, a human, and a daughter of the most high King.

For the gospel //


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