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5 Things You Don't Have to Do in College



Wisdom would say to abstain from making those decisions now in order to be more disciplined when the stakes are higher.

1. Get drunk

It’s okay, you can read it again. I know it may seem incomprehensible for some to consider a college career void of alcohol but trust me, you can do it. If you can’t, then you’re not even close to prepared for the challenges presented in college. Some argue that they should be given the freedom to put themselves in a stumbling state of inebriation because they’re a responsible adult and can make decisions for themselves. But here’s what happens when you get drunk:

Your judgement is impaired.

You make yourself vulnerable to other people's agendas.

You also make yourself vulnerable to breaking standards that you’ve prioritized for yourself.

You kill brain cells.

You set a bad example.

You often spend the same amount of money getting drunk that you could have spent feeding yourself for a day or two. And you’re in college…you’re poor. Stop that.

There’s nothing “responsible adult” about any of that.

Also, if you’re at a college that requires you to sign a contract agreeing to abstain from this behavior, then be a responsible adult and follow through with your contractual agreement– your word. It’s extremely immature to invoke “responsible adult” only when it justifies you acting a fool.

2. Lose your virginity

This one is extremely sad.

When you buy into this destructive behavior, you objectify yourself as a slave to a poisonous cultural narrative that destroys your dignity and ultimately damages the value of the family unit. Not to mention it flies in the face of God’s command that we pursue purity.

Girls, your body is not a commodity for some dude's pride.

Your purity should not be sacrificed for some socially-declared milestone. You want to be loved, but sex is not love. When you pursue sex for love you’ll only be hurt when you realize it is temporal– and now you’ve given part of yourself away to someone who will trash what you saw as an investment.

Guys, your manliness is not to be found in the amount of girls you sleep with.

Habitually sleeping around for pleasure doesn't make you any less of a slut than a girl who does the same. You don't get off the hook simply because you're a male. How are you setting the example of being a gentleman by portraying this behavior? What will your sons think if they knew this of you? Better yet, what will your daughters think?

Also, you don’t have to be religious to realize the value in saving sex for marriage. Special person, special benefits. Wait till you’ve said "I do," then strap on the saddles and have some fun.

3. Become your own person

No, this has pride written all over it.

Don’t become your own person, become the person God wants you to be.

I understand the idea of being able to think for yourself, make wise decisions for yourself, and being able to find your identity. But all of these things, separate from God, pave the way to destruction. I know theology pretty well, I’m involved in the Church, I do ministry, etc. but to give into my own self and to set my own standards and rely on my own guidance…that would destroy me. Becoming the person God wants you to be starts with understanding your identity in Christ. You are HIS child– not a child of the world, not a slave to sin, and not a self-reliant soul. You’ve been adopted into royalty and you have a divine plan attached to your life. Pursue holiness while walking in grace.

4. Fall in love

While there’s nothing wrong with falling in love, there is most certainly foolishness found in pursuing love obligatorily (bet you didn’t think that was a word, did ya?). You won’t find fulfillment, you won’t find humility, you won’t find sacrifice, you won’t find purpose, and you won’t find any good form of completion when you pursue love as a requirement. You will, on the other hand, find pain and emotional scarring. There’s nothing wrong with waiting. There’s nothing wrong with having standards so high that it takes you a couple more years or so to find the right match.

5. Make mistakes while you still can

This phrase is usually through the dialect of “you don’t have a job or family to worry about, have your fun and be reckless while you can.” But there is no such thing as an intentional mistake. Going out and getting hammered and whatever follows is not a mistake– it’s a foolish decision. When we call our poor decisions mistakes, we shine the light off of us in an attempt to distribute our responsibility elsewhere. So much for being an adult. But here’s the problem: saying that there’s a time where you can make poor decisions is to suggest that there’s a time where you cannot make poor decisions. And that is simply not true.

Having a family doesn’t mean you cannot make poor decisions. Having a job doesn’t mean you cannot make poor decisions. It just means that your decisions will garner much more severe consequences.

Wisdom would say to abstain from making those decisions now in order to be more disciplined when the stakes are higher.

For the gospel //

-JWR


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